A few days later he was asked to submit a review to be published on the website from which he purchased it. Suggested topics included ‘Looks’ and ‘Speed’.
Robert wasn’t entirely sure what was required.
Eventually he replied: “Tap looks fine. Haven’t seen it dancing yet, so I can’t comment on speed.”
Romcom gone wrong
WITH Valentine’s Day fast approaching we’re sharing romantic tales.
Sharon Fletcher tells us: “The hardest part of a long-distance relationship was persuading my husband to move away.”
Bible babble
WE’RE discussing Scotia’s esteemed versifier, Mr. Bobby Burns.
John McMenemy from Milngavie was at church a few Sundays ago, where the minister was preaching about the 25th of January, which he noted is not only the birth of the national bard, but marks St Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus.
The minister recalled his work as a school chaplain, when he once visited a school just before Burns Night.
Explaining the biblical significance of the date to the children, he also told them that prior to his conversion to Christianity, St Paul was known as Saul. Afterwards the class discussed Burns Night.
Before the minister left, he quizzed the youngsters.
“Tell me again,” he said, “what St Paul’s name was before his conversion.”
One keen biblical scholar thrust a hand in the air, and triumphantly cried out: “Rabbie Burns.”
Button it
DIARY correspondent Jim Scott recently told us of his youth, and a pal’s less than dynamic dad, who spent most of his time horizontal on the sofa.
Jim gets back in touch to add: “This was the same guy who, in the days before remote controls, taped two pieces of wood together to press the telly buttons, and save him getting up.”
(That’s not indolence, swoons an impressed Diary. That’s ingenious.)
Poultry puzzlement
WE mentioned that American fast-food chain Popeyes, which specialises in fried chicken, is expanding its Scottish operations.
“Are you sure the main dish served is poultry?” asks confused reader Steve Howard. “Shouldn’t it be deep fried spinach drizzled in olive oil?”
Dark days ahead
IN a few months America will have its next President.
Taking inspiration from the classic movie, Dumb and Dumber, it will likely be a contest between Donald Trump and Joe Biden.
Robin Mather from Musselburgh says: “How many MAGA Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero. Donald Trump says he’s fixed it, and they all stand about cheering, in the dark.”
www.heraldscotland.com
https://www.heraldscotland.com/opinion/24079948.herald-diary-plumbing-pizzaz/
