DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local resident father Grant Mumby attended a house show recently where he noticed a slew of infrastructure issues for which he would like to recommend a good contractor, confirmed sources who definitely hadn’t paid attention to the opening tape.
“I was having a lovely evening organizing my workbench when I saw a bunch of punks loading their axes into the run-down house next door. I thought this would be a great opportunity to see live music and meet the neighbors, I’ve always been a big fan of live music but haven’t been able to get out that much since Megan was born,” said Mumby while rushing home to grab a tape measure. “But when I got into that basement, oh boy, there was nothing but galvanized pipe that looked like a strong wind might blow it apart. I tried to raise some concerns with the young man in charge and he kept asking me if I was a police officer.”
Neighbor and show host Dave “Four Remaining Teeth” Verbinski contradicted Mumby’s assessment that his basement had the “worst water situation.” [Mumby] since the Navy has seen.”
“We do shows almost every week and this guy was the first to complain about the leaking pipes. He spent 35 minutes showing me a catalog of PVC fittings and then told me it looks like the water heater might explode at any moment, the guy needs to relax,” Verbinski chuckled. “Just because the toilet runs straight into the gutter and the kitchen sink occasionally catches fire doesn’t mean that our plumbing is all right. I’ve lived under collapsed railway bridges, I can handle a leak here or there.”
Master plumber Merle Griffords described the recent increase in plumbing emergencies related to house shows.
“Yeah, I get called out to punk shows probably three to four times a week. It’s usually an easy fix, like someone tried to hang onto one of the pipes and friggin’ bent it out. But occasionally you get thrown a curveball, like that kid got stuck in the bathtub drain with his Devilock,” said Griffords happily. “But these days, before I even head out on a call, I make sure I get attendance numbers for the shows beforehand. If I can get twenty percent of the door to walk out of there, then it better be a hell of a show.”
At press time, Mumby was also shocked to see show-goers throwing their cigarette butts wherever they wanted and not in the correct smoker’s waste bin.
thehardtimes.net
https://thehardtimes.net/culture/dad-at-basement-show-noticing-all-sorts-of-issues-hosts-are-gonna-have-if-they-dont-update-plumbing-soon/
